CONFIDENTIAL - Results: Pass// you naturally seduce within 30 seconds of eye contact.

Knock knock………. "Door creeps open" WAZZZUUUPPP MORMONS, my name is Duke Wellington Womble and I believe we are all the same person, but in alternate universes. Here come in let me exshplainnnn……this leads to the end goal is to be reborn as light, "What happens when we reach light?" ...hmmmm well I don't know…. Pshhh, plan of salvation…. "Baptize me". We related so much ha, This guy was sweet. He drums and mannn I about fell over and died when he said that. The joy of having drumsticks back in my hands I thought I hit the level of being a light for a second. "I have some songs I wrote. Let's evolve our ears real quick" super depressing stuff. Man lost his brother to murder and he is really depressed, questioning his life, and as soon as he said that… man it feels like picking at your bones with a rusty knife, when all you think about is how you will end your own life. We helped him smile, jamming for too long 😅, and ay if all I am here for is to save this man's life then that's a W (win). Lots of doors, and pity Book of Mormons taken…. But it's hard not to look cold when it's dark, 10 degrees, and walking in the snow. We really want some new people to add to our teaching pool and we have some elect people and found a lot through spirit tracking. (Saying a prayer and driving wherever you are directed) knock the street. We have got really lucky with people that walk out and literally go yeah nah I'm not in a religion but I'm interested and I will read this book and let you know what I think. Got a goose foot too, some guys house we are inside, and the doorbell rings… some guy with a dead goose which was surprisingly big walks in swinging the goose everywhere. Haha it was so funny the limp head is just banging against everything… he gutz it and gave us a foot to hang on our rear view mirror and he committed (low key forced) to lesson 1 on the spot and said he would read the BOM. Lots of people like that so we will see if it goes anywhere. But we still have 4 on date for January 30th and lots of people close to baptism. It's crazy how much people's opinions change about us when they actually get their questions answered rather than, Oh that's something we don't need to know, Stop digging. It's almost like it makes sense and is true or something I don't know. Haha but we are doing what we can. It does suck people just throw away their eternal salvation waiting at their doorstep but oh well it's not their time. Anyways, Thanksgiving was good, just a normal day of work and we went to the Kemptons for dinner. They are an awesome family. They butchered a deer with us that their daughter shot, which was interesting, but you get used to it by the end. I always feel bad because I eat like double my companions combined… just out here clearing peoples pantries but man when you are hungry all day and get a banging dinner ohhh I feel like I fizzle out of existence like that one avenger or whatever when batman used his gauntlet on him and I hit the level of Light again. Also I think I saw the sickest gun I've ever seen in my life but I sadly didn't get a picture, and don't even know how to explain it but you can imagine something I'll own in 5 or 20 years unless from the little I hear the world keeps goes down hill then mom yee best be prepared for me to be moving to Japan when I get home. Not saying Japan allows guns or anything, but  more so I would just give up trying and become a ganasta or somthn. Anyways  this week was 7 days long and I met my first basher. It's the funniest thing when they try to bash and say something that trips us up but they are arguing with only half of the knowledge… like your never gonna win dude and there like hmm maybe yall are normal or are on to something. Anyways Most importantly Remember we are all sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven. Something that's really hard for people to get over is why God let this happen or why won't he help me right now. Well I'll tell you that we are being tested the most when we feel nothing. It sucks and those times always will but as I look back at my life… wow the times I received help and was guided even when I didn't care… too many to count but I was to blind to see them in the moment and everyone is. Just remember that, "it's a big hoax" is the reality of yourself not letting God into your life. I know I am here today because I learned and grew through challenges with our Savior Jesus Christ's arm around me. So my weekly advice is to put your pride down and see the blessing we receive from making covenants (promises) with God and following him through Jesus Christ's true and restored gospel on this earth today through the prophet Joseph smith. God loves you my scrumptious, sugar coated, beautiful readers of my emails. Until wifi connects us again.

Your frozen chosen - Elder Parker

Side note- I just want everyone to know, I usually don't have the time to proofread my email and I am not a prophet and everything I said in my last email is mostly skeptic with scriptures creating the ideas. I was not trying to say we can be reincarnated, cause that's false doctrine more so that some people could have been so worthy before this life they would hit exaltation right when the time comes but we needed more players on the field. And no that doesn't mean they would just skip getting a physical body. It would just be in the Millenium when all is said and done. But you chose to come down early, which is also a theory that those people are the leaders of the church

My suddle glares- 

Messages

 The deer was alive just super friendly.

We kinda got locked outside of the car and the keys were back at the apartment an hour away. It let us drive with no keys in the car and then auto locked. We couldn't get ahold of anyone and we were an hour away from Sidney. Start your car and then throw the keys out the window and drive an hour, that's basically what happened but the keys were in the apartment back where we started it. This is where we got abandoned. 

The offices in the picture and the guns are in a museum thing we do service for. There's a bunch of cool stuff, rooms of old dentists. Man, I would not want to go to those dentists...I feel bad for the ol grandparents.

Bruv Yee Missed the Target

 Yoooo Hello my unimaginably gorgeous email readers. This is gonna be a good one. We prayed for no idleness and man did the lord provide. To start off the beginning of this week it was a consistent 70mph wind with gusts of 90's it was so epic and nothing I have ever felt. Ha. We would be driving at night and bursts would hit the car and instantly push it into the other lane, which doesn't really matter cause there are like 3 other cars on the roads but it was funny. We also had zone conference and interviews…. Man we are pretty much just outcasts here in Montana haha we have no clue what's going on with the mission and do our own thing. Which is how we like it😁! But this week has been pretty drippin we do a lot of ranch work which was apparently a problem at one point of Montana culture taking over where that's all missionaries would do and not teach. But we are doing it right. We dug an endless row of fencing but it was 8 and a half feet railroad ties which we dug a bunch of 2 and half feet deep holes in the frozen rocky ground with shovels for and put about 50 posts in for the guy. It was fun and particularly the ranch work makes me feel worthy of wearing my boots ha. Don't ask how but we ended up in a prespetarien church. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. The preacher pulls up some guy from the audience and is all jumpy and wiggling all over the place and goes "today we have a catholic that wants the hoooollly ghooost" proceeds to slap him in the face and goes "be hit with the spirit" guy literally goes limp and falls on the ground, meanwhile we are pretty much at a rave but people are flopping all over the ground and chairs. 😂 then this like security guard guy pulls the catholic off the ground and lifts him up and the preacher goes " LET THE GIFT OF TONGUES FLOW THROUGH YOU" guy getting held up in a trust fall position and goes "blub blub blub lapalapalapalpa brrrrr at ta ta ta" and then to make it even better the security guard you can clearly see looks down at the guy while he is rambling and looks back up and rolls his eyes. Then these people just stand up re tuck in shirts and walk out like nothing happened. It was a highlight of the mission for sure. Other than that I can't think of anything I wanna talk about off the top of my head. We are staying warm because the oven is a great heater. And sometimes we have 6 missionaries in our apartment so that's always a party. But from my experience last week I shared with you I have been doing lots of research and my bishop here is a very well versed man who I could listen to talk all day. We talked a bit and imma rant some nutz stuff so excuse my ignorance if you already know what imma about to talk about but man is this not the most crazy stuff to think about. Also if you are not a member if you read this please know this is deep doctrine and we are not insane.

I have been wondering the difference between angles and spirits and found some cool stuff.

Before I start, do not seek after the presence of angles because Satan is very smart and can appear as per say a resurrected being, of spirit directing you to go "Oh I can feel the spirit stronger when I don't go to church" and go down that path, so remember we seek after our Father in Heaven and our savior Jesus Christ and can receive the presence of angels BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST. And feeling the holy ghost is different then the presence of angels in your life. But that's another conversation. Any ways you know you can tell the difference between a good spirit, bad spirit, and a resurrected spirit by shaking hands. For those that ain't familiar with this. If you go to shake his hand and he does and you can feel it. Then it is a resurrected being. If you go to shake his hand and it denies you but still shares the message then it is a good spirit. If they insist on shaking your hand and they have to due to deals made up above and you can't feel them, they are a bad spirit. And a lot of people argue that Joseph Smith isn't a true prophet because there is no record of Joseph Smith shaking angel Moroni's hand. But Joseph Smith didn't know this at the time. Anyways this leads to the fact that not all of our dead relatives are in the sprint world. We see people like John that have been resurrected already. A Lot of people think that you can't be resurrected until the 2nd coming but that's not true. We don't know how you make that jump from spirit paradise into resurrection but believe that there is a particular reason for it.. And did you guys know some of us could have hit exaltation and told God, "yo send me back out. I will hasten your work." Just think about that. So we were at a member's house that lives alone, his dad was a bishop and had passed away. He said that last night at 2:46 in the AM he heard a noise so he got up and his dogs were low growling. He turned on all the lights and saw his desk shake in the corner and then it went silent. This desk had a flag his dad gave him and his ashes on it. He later found out the flag was moved off of the wall and the dusty desk had a handprint on it bigger than his, matching his dads. Man did it give us all chills when we saw it.. and this is completely possible that he was visited by his dad and he believed he was telling him something but I can't remember what it was. Which means his dad had to have been resurrected to move something physically because bad or good spirits don't have a body of flesh and bone so they can only appear in the shape of one which is why if you ever test to shake the hand of one and you just squeeze through his hand you best be ready to square up your arm and cast him out of your presence. Because you know Satan has 1/3rd of us and more lost souls after death which hang around worldly desires which is why crack houses etc… can house possessed people and so forth and no not just a crack head I mean really possessed cause it is TRUE. I have so much more to say but I really want you guys to read it so imma stop there but you know Cain (one of Adam and eve's children) where I Believe he is what people believe is bigfoot. He was cursed with dark skin and lots of hair. And he was cursed to put simply ,never die… well according to this account which no doubt is true because why would a prophet write it down… hahaha I'll save this for another day. But man I hope I don't have to experience anything scary relating to this in my life. But you never think to dive deep into the Bible and stuff until you serve a mission in the states. And everything else and so much more I wish I could say rn about pre and post earth life it is so so so crazy. And then you go into people who died before 8 years old going straight to celestial kingdom but everyone was basically told. "Look if I keep you alive after the age of 8 you are going to have to go through hell on earth, and some people were so elect before this life they didn't need to be tried on this earth but needed a physical body, so they come down and die super young. There is so much stuff it's crazy what you can find from the word of God. Haha anyways I hope you enjoyed some of the brief topics I think are so fascinating. I'll see y'all next week. Stay strong my kings, and frolicking flamingos.

Until the falling hot dog gets caught by shopsticks - Elder Parker

和の写真です

ジョシュアはかわいですわ😯😉

Side note - Sorry this email is so late I thought I wouldn't be able to send one for a second there. Got stranded outside for like 6 hours in the middle of nowhere but that's a story for another time.

A Testimony Never to be Pierced

 What's up guys. You won't regret reading this one. This week was a scary and hard one. We went to Diane's x husband's funeral which was pretty sad and Diane is having a hard time with it, rightfully, spending 20 something years and 3 kids with him. We got lots of weird looks but even more weird looks when people saw Diane hugging us. It was funny ha. There was a preacher there and he was probably the most confused but he spoke and was basically like "yeah stories and memories are all fun and games but did Jesus get sad when Lazareth died, no so Jesus wouldn't want you to be sad right now" (actually it states that Jesus wept) ha. I was like wait what did he just say. The spirit ran off a cliff as soon as the cross was brought up. Funny how that works. It's almost like our beliefs are true or something. Anyways we went to Ashton's house again. He took us downstairs. This man got his whole basement turned into a weed farm. It was straight our of a movie, tinfoil looking walls with black lights with a lot of plants. I wanted a picture but I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. Some guy walked in to by some and looked at us and said "hmmm Mormons, didn't expect them to be here." Ha. We invited them to church and left. They didn't show up so we just dropped them.

This next part is the real part. When you think of Indian reservations you probably think a nice community of Indians. Nah the chief called....He said that ain't it. It is basically a trailer park in the middle of nowhere with lots of crime and drugs and a very hood vibe. So this girl names Kim, that actually doesn't flake on us, which is nice when it's an hour drive to Fort Peck and even more to Poplar (mom don't look that one up). Anyways, we walk up to her door as 10 dogs come out of nowhere and surround us, but you know the spirit do be smelling nice and juicy to the pups so they follow us to the door trying to get inside cause it was freezing that day. This girl said that her neighbor's kids are getting in her attic and she confessed that she is getting a gun and going to take matters into her own hands and kill the family. We are over here like nah bru, Jesus be all you needs, you feel me? So she is praying and reading the BOM, She has been baptized in the church believe it or not but she told us, "There are little people in my walls that are condemning me of my sins and the only way to turn my life around is the follow Jesus Christ." we were like....hmm yes. Also skin walkers, ever heard of them? They are shape shifters (devils, possessed people) res people are very sensitive about it and honestly could be real. The more I am on the mish I realize Satan is very real and the things you hear about in the Bible about people being possessed and evil spirits, I'm pretty sure it is a real thing and is really terrifying. We gave her a blessing saying something along the lines of for the evil spirit residing in this body leave and never abide here again. I cannot make this up. Right after I hear a voice and feeling saying, "May I enter your body" and I immediately just said no in my head and all of us look at each other. We get to the car and we all heard the same voice. Guys the things you heard about in the New and Old testament are true in today's world. I'm not saying you have to believe me but the stories and experiences like that make me sure of it and for other missionaries reading this, remember how much power you have as a missionary. We went to dinner with a member that served in Arizona and we were telling him about one of our investigators named Shirley. The only thing keeping her from baptism is cancer. He asked us, "well how much faith do you boys have" and then shared a story which inspired the blessing I talked about with Kim but for another missionary where he never had a panic attack again after. We responded saying "hmmm a lot." He goes "well pray with the authority of the Melchizedek priesthood which you hold through Jesus Christ's name that she may be healed. If it is God's will, it will be done. We can move mountains with faith." Just think about that. 

Thanks for all the prayers. We need all that we can get. Also, got some drop dead gorgeous pics for y'all this week. I love the area I am in, the fresh air, the skies, the miles of nothing, the hardworking boots. I have been in the Bainville, MT high school a couple times. The town is so small. Haha, reminds me of what I envision my parents' schools looking like. Anyway, love you all and remember to keep pushing so you can fulfil the glorious image God has for you.

Until the hills meet - Elder Parker

My Crystal views -

Messages

Went to Walmart today. Needed to cop a black or blue pair of pants, something that work with my boots. My black pants are just almost too small. It's funny at church that is what everyone wears. Also a hat and a vest. The vest is so 👌It's got a zipper.

 Peep the hat. 7dollars.

Sherid's Email

 We had the opportunity to have these fellas out for dinner and visiting tonight! It was such a fun evening!

YES SIRRRR, Your Portfolio Just got Eaton by a Tarmagoyph

 Like a cow…….. walking …….. In tall grass………… I am utterly tickled to Email you gangsters. This week was intense. The skies and stars here are still mind blowing and I'm yet to get a picture that really shows it. Hmm Imma just start this email with this guy. We walk into this home who the guy was a flipping genius. He was filing bankruptcy and he told us "dudes it's genius, buy a house, file bankruptcy and you got yourself a free house you know what I'm saying brothas", definitely the play ha. He wants all of his kids to be baptized in our church but I have no clue if it will go anywhere but we will try. Also I think I have seen more guns and bullets in the last week than I have ever seen in my life which is saying something. Sadly its against mission rules to lay lead but the amount of times someone has whipped out a gun that let's just say, the NRA would not be too fancy of, its hilarious. I'm over here like yeah that's a federal law, but not like enough people live here to care.  Haha it's funny we will go over to a member's house and everyone is just passing around bullets talking about it which is pretty normal for me but still funny. Also I gotta tell you we were driving with a member in Gainesville Montana and the guy pulls out a 22 LR pistol, sticks it out his window and goes you see that bird… shoots… not even kidding, bird drops. Pure luck, I was shocked.. ha it was wicked. Ohhh also this girl we do service with every week, her ex got murdered yesterday, but that's besides the point, but she's gonna hook me up with a legit cowboy hat. I'm excited for the drip. Here it's a hunting town. Everyone here is wilding and says the craziest things. I wish I could have them written down but man I was almost convinced God is an alien who invented the brown cow for chocolate milk. Haha too bad missionaries can't hunt, we would never have to hit up the Walmart an hour and half away for nothing. Also was literally like 5 seconds away from getting a plane ride. We were tracting and I knock on this guys door and he walks out of his garage like I don't need no Book of Mormon but ya'll wanna ride on a plane, I got 3 extra seats. So me and the comps walk with him, you will see the plane in the pics. We were definitely gonna send it but it specifically says in the handbook no private planes or boats which kind of stinks cause it would be so pretty. He said we could go to Fort Peck or wherever we wanted to go so we are gonna try and pull some strings with the old pres and see if we can get special permission but Idk if it will happen. Remember the guy last week that said he could feel the spirit when he smokes weed? We were at his house again and we tried to hit him with lesson 1 real smooth and it kind of worked.. he stopped rolling his blunt and just listened and said they would come to church. Kinda scary knowing this guy's character but they didn't make it, oh well. Also this guy named Michael, he served a mission in Italy but he has fallen away, but he recited the whole first vision perfectly and knows everything. The annoying part is he will literally say "Oh yeah I know everything is true and agree with what you say and believe its essential but I don't think there is a God, Its a cool story tho and I don't have a testimony."  Bruh you just said you know it's true hahaha whatever. This week we made a bunch of rules to help us be even more obedient. For example, when the alarm goes off at 630 the last person to touch the counter top has to take a cold shower but that got violent so it's just we have to touch it in 5 seconds and stuff like, if you get caught lacking you get a slingshot to your favored butt cheek. But through this we have seen lots of miracles. We were able to put 4 people on date for baptism and plan on 2 more for next week. I hope all goes well and I can be here for the baptisms but I could be in Nebraska at the point. That many usually doesn't happen and honestly I don't even remember what I said when committing to baptism. My body got possessed by the spirit or something. Anyways this weeks been great, the grind never stopping. We are going fishing again. Hoping for a pike but last time we got sauger and a branch of walleye. Anyways, tell next time. Oh wait almost forgot lol just a reminder, mom incase I die save these emails. Anyways ladderrrr my legion of vigilant warriors

My Plastic Memories - 

Messages

Just got her. Its a sauger Branch of walleye. We are eating them. One of my comps knows how to fillet them. We got a couple. It is nice right now, only 30s with a bit of wind but it gets brutal cold.

This is the setup

Yo I just bought boots for the cold and work.

Now I will look normal here hahaha. They will be nice in mud and service work. Just wait till I get my cowboy hat. I think I am going to need you to send me a jacket. We looked today, and literally every single one is camo and for missionary work I need something that is not camo haha. Japan is going to be polar opposite haha. I'm determined to make cowboy hats and boots popular in Japan. I just hope that I stay in Sidney till I go to Japan.

I just pet a goat and got offered to butcher a pig at their house haha.

I wish yall could see these in person.